brainbytumblr:

sevdaverdana:

blessingsincompany:

mendmyheart:

Obedient Wives Club in Malaysia

I really don’t know how to feel about this, it made me uncomfortable the whole way through.

“More than what first class prostitute can do” 

What is this bigotry?!?!?!? I’m going to write a long long response to this ignorance. 

Ok, here’s my take on this, as a soon-to-be new Muslim.

First, there’s some definite transgression of the Qur’an and the principles of marriage going on here. Polygamy is designed so that widows & orphans are provided for, not so guys can get their Hugh Hefner on.  Nor is domestic violence ever acceptable (self-defense is a separate issue).

Secondly, “wifely obedience” doesn’t mean “robot-like, slavish, un-questioning adherence to the commands of one’s husband”. What it DOES entail is a wife’s acceptance that the husband has final authority over the family, trusting that he wants what’s best… because in the end, it’s his ass on the line if things go south. Besides, no one wants a robot, or at least I don’t. 

BUT.

In Islam, the husband is responsible, legally, morally, religiously, and every other way for every aspect of his wife’s upkeep. Her money? Hers. All the money he makes? That’s hers, too. From the food on the table to the roof overhead to the clothes she wears, a good Muslim husband’s obligation is to provide for his family, plain and simple. That’s why the inheritance of a woman is smaller than a man’s - she doesn’t need it. Her husband’s DUTY is to take care of and protect her. This is in addition to supporting her emotionally, sexually, etc.

Conversely, I feel like it will be my wife’s JOB and DUTY to uphold her end of the marriage bargain. This, to me, means doing her best to keep a clean, happy home, to cook, to help me raise our family as a good mother should, and to, in consultation with each other, accept the direction I lead the family in, so long as it meshes w/ Islam & common sense. As far as wives working or going to school, Idk about other guys, but I say go for it, provided it doesn’t get in the way of home life, family responsibility, etc. Wives are partners, not pets, and if mine can do both, I want her to be happy.

Why do I expect that, you might ask? Because as non-PC as it is to say this, the husband is the head of the family. The leader, yes, but never a tyrant! Tyrants deserve divorce papers, not power.

The the fact is, if I’m lucky enough to be blessed with a good wife, I’ll exhaust myself to make sure that she has everything she wants & needs (within reason lol… I’m not BIll Gates), and to be the best, most loving husband I can, and why? Because I’ll love her, from the bottom of my heart. All I ask & expect in return is her love, and her emotional & marital support… and part of that comes in the form of trust and obedience.

Obviously, the above stuff only applies when both parties are acting as they should - a husband who doesn’t work, hits his wife, etc. should never expect to be paired with a good and loving wife, any more than a woman who’s wasteful with what her husband gives her, hateful, slutty in dress and mannerisms, etc. should expect to be paired with a good husband.

I’m sure the haters have stopped reading by now, but what I’m trying to say is, marriage is a give and take, good wives - and good husbands - are a blessing from Allah, and that the above video contains a lot of bullshit… but there’s some basic truth, too, if you shovel deep enough. ;) 

I’d like to tack on one thing that people keep forgetting.

You cannot have more than one wife if you cannot handle it.

The prophet clearly says that if you so much as smile at one wife, you must go smile at the other three. You must care for each one, equally. This means financially, this means emotionally, this means sexually, this means IN EVERY ASPECT. 

A lot of guys forget this, and that’s what causes a lot of trouble.

Another thing people complain about is the fact that men can have four wives, and women cannot have four husbands.

The reasoning for this is simply that we put emphasis on bloodlines and families, and a child needs to know his father.

So, basically, if a woman were to have four husbands, she would be under the same laws as the men are (if she does something for one husband, she must do it for the other three), and that would be a problem, because then how would she know who the father of the child is?

I realize today we have DNA-tests, but remember that that was not an option back then.

I’d also like to point out what was said above:

Abuse is never allowed. Ever. Emotional abuse, physical, or otherwise. Domestic abuse is not supported by Islam, and comes from culture, not from religion.

The prophet always told us the best among us are those that are good to their wives.

thetatteredendsofautumn:

[TRIGGER WARNING FOR ISLAMOPHOBIA AND ASSAULT]

thenoisecomplaint:

agrand:

strawberreli:

dmanmarx:

proteanbeing:

New rule: Everybody get’s to wear whatever the fuck they want to.

Seconded.

This kind of strikes a lot of fear into me. Mostly because growing up, my father would beat us if we pulled off our sister’s hijabs. It was stressed to the utmost that it was equivalent to pulling down her pants, and that we were never allowed to touch it, not even if they were wearing it at home and no one would see if we tugged it off.

Many Muslimahs I know have confided in me that they fear that people who discriminate against Muslims might harass them if they wear the hijab, to the point where they tug it off. I myself have this fear when I present feminine. It’s unsettling. 

This is the morning of reblogging shit I had not thought about.

I am not Muslim and honestly it never occurred to me that women who where the hijab would be afraid of having it pulled off of them by someone who objects to their beliefs. Probably because I don’t think it would ever occur to me to violate another persons space and tear off their clothes. That’s just well, violating.

I have my own fears when interacting with people who object to me and my beliefs and I’m sorry that anyone has to have a legit fear of their own clothes being pulled off by another person.

So reblogging this for anyone else who might not have thought of this.

Can’t put triggers on it because I’m on my phone, sorry.

For me, I’ve never had someone ever do this to me except for like a baby, and I still get anxious about it. Like , will today be the day someone assaults me and tries to take off my hijab?? I worry about eventually going to the US and someone attacking me. I’ve had actual nightmares regarding this. 

Reblogging again, just to promote awareness and for the wonderful commentaries added on.

dmanmarx:

proteanbeing:

New rule: Everybody get’s to wear whatever the fuck they want to.

Seconded.

This kind of strikes a lot of fear into me. Mostly because growing up, my father would beat us if we pulled off our sister’s hijabs. It was stressed to the utmost that it was equivalent to pulling down her pants, and that we were never allowed to touch it, not even if they were wearing it at home and no one would see if we tugged it off.

Many Muslimahs I know have confided in me that they fear that people who discriminate against Muslims might harass them if they wear the hijab, to the point where they tug it off. I myself have this fear when I present feminine. It’s unsettling. 

ny4ti:

Voile by jfgornet on Flickr.

Rupert: I was in America once, and someone wanted a photo with me. I went to put my arm around her, and she told me not to touch her.

Haha, bet it was a Muslimah

(Source: pottyandweasel)

Some lovely aunties posed for us~

In December 2007, over 2,000 Muslims were asked what they would wish to say to the rest of the world.

This is what they said.

(song: A Land Called Paradise by Kareem Salama.)