I’m actually not gay, I’m ace. But I went through a part of my life where I was worried I was, and it certainly wrecked me through and through because I was staunchly certain my religion forbade it.
I ended up hurting myself a lot in those few years, but upon reaching uni, I also reached a decision where I decided if I was, it was what God willed, and that was that. Then came the studying the Qur’an closer and discovering other LGBT* Muslims and discussing with them.
My faith is as strong as ever, my perception just changed.
I think I can truthfully say I never disbelieved in my religion, but I was very angry at God for a long time, thinking that God must’ve hated me to make me the way I was and to torture me/condemn me to hell for it.